[The following work was originally posted to my LiveJournal. I am giving it a new home here, as I plan to do with several other entries from my past journals. This piece is from March of 2005.]

This is the train I am on. I feel the wheels passing over the joints between the long, narrow, silver-black twin rails. They are a helix uncoiled, and my window looks out into the distances of the body. In the canal that runs along beside me, I see the feathered reflection of the light from mine and the other windows, like the sprocket holes of a strip of film. Stand still and engage the shutter of the mind’s eye, let the train pass, and see the transformations between one face and the next. At the right pace, the film appears to run backwards; time is uncertain.
When the summer passed / When the rain erupted in secret latitudes /
Like the sway of shoulder blades winding the spine as the scythe fells age after age, they dance for the moment in the name of momentum, these images, this memento mori. And the moon’s pale kisses smudge the shadows of longing across the covers of the bed where we lie together as one, and we disintegrate in darkness, becoming as the faintly sparkling stardust used in a fable to enchant the dreams of an ageless soul.
There in the tropics of your irony / Where we dined on solace in isolation /
This is the train we are on. We feel the passing over the joints between the long, narrow, silver-black twin rails. They are a helix oiled by the river of our blood and unfurled by the beating of our hands on the bare skin of rhythm’s own drum. As I pass through this city it is you I feel in my mouth, caressing my tongue with the tastes of your orison, coloring my words with the quick of your breath. I feel more free now than I ever have. Stripped of all my rationales, my rations taken away, purged by my penury, I have only these eyes with which to hear your presence, only these ears with which to perceive your touch. This is the train that I, alone, am on.
You touched the hamstring of a bird’s leg / Cried and cooed to its wing /
My destination is the station, but the station has no name. It exists in a city, but the city is forgotten. The city lies in a country that has no borders, no people, no national anthem or flag, no flower, no bird. There are no tourists here. We are all citizens. This will be the first time I have ever been here, and it will feel good to be home again, to sit at the table and eat and drink as I sleep beside you, inside you, without you.
Perching on the high wall / Mylar soul or la lune esprit /
The ages pass. I have never been off this train. Forever the countryside has passed my window, and the chuffing of the engine has never slowed, save on the high mountain passes where the snow never melts and the horizon seems to swell into oblivion beneath skies of the purest, most lonesome cerulean beatitude. Always there are the outposts, the fire barrels, the people warming hands, drinking sepia water from plastic milk jugs as their children hide behind the broken edges of hollow buildings. Always there are the vast fields of blonde grain, of green rice, of blue corn, of dusty cabbage and smoky grape. Always there are sheep, cows, pigs, chickens. There are trees and hills, plains and broken places, deserts and seas. And I have seen the world forever, and nothing has changed and everything has changed and even change itself is different now — though that was only to be expected.
Pecking at my lips before taking flight / Bird shy /
Tomorrow, after we arrive, I will walk down to the station and I will board the train. For the first time, I will leave here. I have never seen anything with these blind eyes, have never heard anything with these unperceptive ears. I have been quiet for so long. Your song burned in my heart like a coal, and I longed for the stars. After I get here, it will be good to finally know you. I will be alone at last, and your kiss — the very first kiss that I have ever received — will utterly destroy me. I will be free to exist.
The cage of these ribs is littered with crumbs of fascination / And the news of the day’s impending obituary.
How long has this all been a dream?


Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, by J.K. Rowling
Memories of My Melancholy Whores, by Gabriel García Márquez
The Brief and Frightening Reign of Phil, by George Saunders

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