08.05.07

Möbius Strip Mall

Posted in Personal at 5:16 pm by Moody

Reading Italo Calvino’s Mr. Palomar. The pendulum swings. The weekend draws to a close. I’ve decided to write an entry, though I’ve little I feel like saying. Call this a housekeeping entry, or a vague nod that says I still know the world’s there and here I am — now I’m down in it. The pendulum swings, but so slowly. Letters pile up in the in-box from people I really want to talk with, people I’ve effectively ignored for all these months gone by, hoping (vainly) that they understand why. How is it I feel so guilty for being in such a bad place? Bills pile up in the mail box, blood letters from the green machine. The pendulum swings, but so slowly that it feels like suffocation.

Advice to would-be bloggers: The saying, “Nothing is True. Everything is permitted”, is misleading. The days left to this blog are numbered. I do not know how I’ll pay to renew my lease with my host. Right now, even after having worked some 50+ hours last week, I’m not sure how to afford much of anything. Little things, like going out for a movie or going to dinner, buying an album or a book, leave me fearful. Yet, we cannot go without the occasional niceties; we’d go crazy without a break. So, we went to the most recent Harry Potter movie and waited in line at Midnight to buy the final book of the series (which I read in a few days). So, I got a new album: Opeth’s Blackwater Park. So, we now have some quality coffee. So, we’re planning on going to dinner somewhere nice, some Japanese restaurant. And so, we’re going to go to the New Pornographers concert at the Music Box at the Fonda.

But will I ever write to my friends? Will I ever answer a letter? I hope to do so before I die.

Listening to: Opeth - The Funeral Portrait via FoxyTunes

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