There are many issues where I am, in the face of whatever it is that’s annoying me (like an angry pimple) or grating on me (like a stiff piece of broken plastic being dragged edge-on down a dirty chalkboard), a quite tolerant person. I can put up with a lot. Often enough I smile when I want to strangle, kindly defer when I want to shout down, reasonably articulate my objection in a mild manner when I want to crush and burn, etc. I do my best to see the other side of an issue, even when we’re talking things I’ve very strong opinions about (like abortion rights, GLBT rights, and human rights), even when it gives me a freakin’ headache. It’s the way we remain civilized in the best sense of the word.

Normally, I am utterly opposed to the “death penalty”. But there are times when I feel I need to make an exception. There are times when the annoyance is ratcheted up to psychic migraine status and I start hearing Cannibal Corpse’s “The Time to Kill is Now” (lyrics after the break) flailing about in my head like the Angel of Death, weapon set to ANNIHILATE. Images appear in my mind from my Fallout 2 days….

I know it’s wrong to kill… and yet…

The spammer should die. Spammers should die. Blot on the Internet, bane of decency, chokers of bandwidth and wasters of precious time, leeches and parasites wrapped in capitalistic (even nationalistic) masturbatory fantasies, worthless punters and prats, peddlers of the foulest garbage, greedy hucksters of deception; there’s no good spammer but a dead spammer.

80% of spam received by Internet users in North America and Europe can be traced via aliases and addresses, redirects, hosting locations of sites and domains, to a hard-core group of around 200 known spam operations (”spam gangs”), almost all of whom are listed in the ROKSO database. These spam operations consist of an estimated 500-600 professional spammers with ever-changing aliases and domains. The vast majority of those listed here operate illegally and move from network to network (and country to country) seeking out “spam-friendly” Internet Service Providers (”ISPs”) known for lax enforcing of anti-spam policies. [Source]

These criminals see nothing wrong with what they do to me or you. In fact, they don’t care about anyone but themselves — and what’s there to care for in them? Nothing! Nothing whatsoever! When I look at the spam I receive every day — via email or caught by my blog’s filter — I feel violently angry. I am not amused at all by their efforts. I don’t find any of it ingenious. I don’t think for an instant that they are using any sort of a viable business model. They are simply wastrels, deadbeats, assholes, no account shitheels. I don’t care what they have to say about themselves or their efforts. It is perfectly clear that their one real motivation is to make money as easily as possible, regardless of consequences. I can hear Daffy Duck saying, “Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I’m rich”. (Or was that the BushCo chorus?) Point is, they’ve not one redeemable feature or characteristic to them. They serve no good purpose.

So, — they ought to die. Spammers should be rounded up and killed en masse. They should be used as extras in movies where people die violently, only it should be real when they die. Butcher them, I say, and then feed them to dieased dogs on a radioactive island somewhere. Use them as armor for vehicles in Iraq (doesn’t matter whose vehicles). Experiment on them with new medications or try out radical new medical procedures on them. Supply bloodthirsty, sociopathic, psychopathic mental patients with genuine, unwilling victims. Use them in place of cadavers to teach premed students about the body. Make car crash tests more fun.

But only after they’ve had everything taken from them. Whatever is of monetary value should be taken and auctioned off to help feed the hungry, clothe the poor, make shelters for the homeless. Whatever spammers have feelings for should be publicly stripped from their lives. And as they are reduced to nothing, before the blade falls or the bullet flies or the psychopath begins to chew and rip and rend, they should be publicly humiliated and ridiculed and shamed. As a culture, we should learn to focus all the badness in us — all the ill will, hatred, detestation, dislike, distaste, abhorrence, abomination, execration, aversion, hostility, ill feeling, enmity, animosity, antipathy, revulsion, disgust, contempt, and odium — on them. What an orgy of catharsis and purgation that would be!

We totally should do it. Just as soon as we’re done with molesters and rapists and those who lead us into war for no good reason.

.

Hey, I can fantasize, Twenty-first Century style, can’t I?

Lyrics to Cannibal Corpse’s “The Time to Kill is Now”:

We see them coming a mile away
Gathered to kill on the desolate plain
No fear in our minds
Pure hate in our hearts

Miscalculation of our strength their bane
Take us lightly and we'll make you pay
Pride left them defenseless
No mercy for hubris

They rush to fight us and we stand and wait
Pulses quicken as they take the bait
Mere seconds to the slaughter
We can wait no longer

Closing fast with their weapons high
Still believing it's we that will die
Now the ambush is sprung
Now they learn that they were wrong
Now the killing will start
Tear the bastards apart

They thought it would be easy but now they're being crushed
Arrogance of power leaves them dying in their blood
There will be no mercy for these filthy sons of whores
The innards of my enemys impaled upon my sword
Many years we've waited for this final day of slaughter
Our victims are decapitated, their limbs are torn asunder
Careful preparation brought our haughty victims down
Our forces are at full strength and the time to kill is now.

Time to kill is now

Time to kill

They are all dead, it's their end today
All lost their lives in tremendous pain
Not one has survived
We left none alive

Do not doubt our conviction to kill
Hate on our side we will never fail
Now the killing will start
Tear the bastards apart
Strike the enemy down
The time to kill is motherfucking now