Comments on: My Mother is Dying http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/ Just trying to catch butterflies, fish, lunatics, and stars, metaphorically speaking. Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:27:44 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Matteo http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/comment-page-1/#comment-6247 Matteo Sat, 16 May 2009 00:33:16 +0000 http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/#comment-6247 Dear all<br>less than a month ago, my mum, who just turned 70, has been diagnosed a small cell lung cancer, already metastased in the liver and brain. No therapy possible. Just one month before she was in a long car journey through Portugal with my father, admiring flowers and castles. No symptoms, nothing.<br><br>We kept her from knowing that she was going to die, and instead flooded her with love. She might have had the happiest time of her life.<br>Now it is the time of morphine, oblivion and pain, and this devastating sense of the imminent loss. Nothing else.<br><br>With love<br>Matteo Dear all
less than a month ago, my mum, who just turned 70, has been diagnosed a small cell lung cancer, already metastased in the liver and brain. No therapy possible. Just one month before she was in a long car journey through Portugal with my father, admiring flowers and castles. No symptoms, nothing.

We kept her from knowing that she was going to die, and instead flooded her with love. She might have had the happiest time of her life.
Now it is the time of morphine, oblivion and pain, and this devastating sense of the imminent loss. Nothing else.

With love
Matteo

]]> By: subodot http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/comment-page-1/#comment-1832 subodot Wed, 19 Mar 2008 03:53:08 +0000 http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/#comment-1832 My Mom died in Aug 1991. She had been very sick for just over a year needing several surgeries and experiencing infections an open wound complications. Before she died her personality changed a great deal. The woman who was my best friend most of my life had become like a strager, and I did not know how to respond. We had all hoped she would recover and was on the mend - so we thought - then she had a strike. A really severe stroke which incapacited her. She no longer had her gag refelex and could no longer speak. The last time I saw her alive she was in a hopsital on the bed not even breathing but panting. She strained to try to speak but it was inaudible. I thought she was trying to tell me she loved me. I climbed into the bed with her and embraced her. We were just there together queitly and I told her that I would gladly trade places with her and she looked at me like I was crazy and sort of smiled, what she could muster and I gigled just a little. As I sat with her I felt the great comfort I always felt being close to her. In my head was some delusion that she'd be okay and would get out soon. When I left I just knew........... My prayerlife had been shallow in those years but I did pray for her. And of course it sounds so wrong but I prayed for her suffering to end, that she either get better or go on to eternal peace. And approx 4:00 AM the next morning she did pass. Moody, I know you aren't a believer, and I am not out to convince you of anything. This was a turning point for me. I was sort of a believer but not in any doctrine. I did think maybe there was an afterlife and so I just hoped my Mom went to a place where she would be in peace. After the funeral I had a dream. I was with her in a dimly lit room. The rest of the family was there also. She was on a comfy chair and I sat on the floor with my head on her knee. She stroked my hair and told me so many wonderful things ( out of character a bit we never would have been like this in real life). How she had felt about me as one of her children and things I had done that made her see that I was good, always so good, helping her, and loving her like a good daughter does. The dream to me was like all the things she may have wanted to say the last time I saw her alive. And it gave me great comfort. It was a turning point. My Mom was a believer and so I let some belief start to come in. I knew she would want me to believe I would see her again. It is many years now since she is gone, and I do believe in the afterlife. Sometimes in my dreams I go to visit here in heaven where we go for lovely rides in the country and have our wonderful long talks, just like when she was here. They never really leave us, they stay right in our heart and mind all our days. In one of my dream visits I asked her if she had any messages I should take back to the living, the family. She told me to tell them that "Love is eternal". You wrote your original post here in 2006. Is your Mom still alive or did she pass? My Mom died in Aug 1991. She had been very sick for just over a year needing several surgeries and experiencing infections an open wound complications. Before she died her personality changed a great deal. The woman who was my best friend most of my life had become like a strager, and I did not know how to respond. We had all hoped she would recover and was on the mend – so we thought – then she had a strike. A really severe stroke which incapacited her. She no longer had her gag refelex and could no longer speak. The last time I saw her alive she was in a hopsital on the bed not even breathing but panting. She strained to try to speak but it was inaudible. I thought she was trying to tell me she loved me. I climbed into the bed with her and embraced her. We were just there together queitly and I told her that I would gladly trade places with her and she looked at me like I was crazy and sort of smiled, what she could muster and I gigled just a little. As I sat with her I felt the great comfort I always felt being close to her. In my head was some delusion that she’d be okay and would get out soon. When I left I just knew………..

My prayerlife had been shallow in those years but I did pray for her. And of course it sounds so wrong but I prayed for her suffering to end, that she either get better or go on to eternal peace. And approx 4:00 AM the next morning she did pass.

Moody, I know you aren’t a believer, and I am not out to convince you of anything. This was a turning point for me. I was sort of a believer but not in any doctrine. I did think maybe there was an afterlife and so I just hoped my Mom went to a place where she would be in peace. After the funeral I had a dream. I was with her in a dimly lit room. The rest of the family was there also. She was on a comfy chair and I sat on the floor with my head on her knee. She stroked my hair and told me so many wonderful things ( out of character a bit we never would have been like this in real life). How she had felt about me as one of her children and things I had done that made her see that I was good, always so good, helping her, and loving her like a good daughter does. The dream to me was like all the things she may have wanted to say the last time I saw her alive. And it gave me great comfort. It was a turning point. My Mom was a believer and so I let some belief start to come in. I knew she would want me to believe I would see her again.

It is many years now since she is gone, and I do believe in the afterlife. Sometimes in my dreams I go to visit here in heaven where we go for lovely rides in the country and have our wonderful long talks, just like when she was here. They never really leave us, they stay right in our heart and mind all our days. In one of my dream visits I asked her if she had any messages I should take back to the living, the family. She told me to tell them that “Love is eternal”.

You wrote your original post here in 2006. Is your Mom still alive or did she pass?

]]> By: Rosemary http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/comment-page-1/#comment-1815 Rosemary Sun, 17 Feb 2008 23:56:48 +0000 http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/#comment-1815 My mother is dying, although she was not diagnosed with cancer. But just looking at her pale face, she is very tired. My mother has a kidney that is deteriating, my heart goes out to the children that already lost there mother. I have a fear, like waiting for a explosion to go off. But I know there is light at the end of the long tunnel. Sometimes I want her to dye, it hurts to see her in so much pain and suffering. But I know it is really going to hurt more when she passes. Thank you My mother is dying, although she was not diagnosed with cancer. But just looking at her pale face, she is very tired. My mother has a kidney that is deteriating, my heart goes out to the children that already lost there mother.
I have a fear, like waiting for a explosion to go off. But I know there is light at the end of the long tunnel. Sometimes I want her to dye, it hurts to see her in so much pain and suffering. But I know it is really going to hurt more when she passes.

Thank you

]]> By: Natalie http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/comment-page-1/#comment-1783 Natalie Wed, 16 Jan 2008 07:08:52 +0000 http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/#comment-1783 Thank you for writing this. I was one of the ones who googled "my mother is dying". Thank you. Thank you for writing this. I was one of the ones who googled “my mother is dying”.

Thank you.

]]> By: Victoria http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/comment-page-1/#comment-1673 Victoria Fri, 05 Oct 2007 04:44:53 +0000 http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/#comment-1673 So sorry for you all. My mother has been my strength my entire life. People see me as a very strong woman but I know and believe I am only that because I am loved and protected by my mother even till this day. She is still with me but I am consumed with the fear I will not have much time with her any more. I had her over to my house tonight for her 76th birthday. Today she tells me she has a doctors appointment on Monday. She says it is routine. But not sure. I read through different stories of the loss of mothers. Desperately trying to find a way to cope with the inevitable. Patty you said " I am having a terrible time coping, she lights up everything ..I keep on thinking …how will I know the way through the darkness?" I understand completely. How are you doing? My father passed away a couple years ago and I reacted briefly. My parents have been divorced for years and his and my relationship was vague. Not sure I will be able to breathe once my mother goes. I think I am preparing myself so I can endure it for my husband and grown children. I will have to go on but I really feel I will not be able to cope. I mean I will cease to exist just about. I cannot imagine living without her. But until then I cherish her every day. And I will continue. Thanks for listening. So sorry for you all.

My mother has been my strength my entire life. People see me as a very strong woman but I know and believe I am only that because I am loved and protected by my mother even till this day. She is still with me but I am consumed with the fear I will not have much time with her any more. I had her over to my house tonight for her 76th birthday. Today she tells me she has a doctors appointment on Monday. She says it is routine. But not sure. I read through different stories of the loss of mothers. Desperately trying to find a way to cope with the inevitable. Patty you said ” I am having a terrible time coping, she lights up everything ..I keep on thinking …how will I know the way through the darkness?” I understand completely. How are you doing?
My father passed away a couple years ago and I reacted briefly. My parents have been divorced for years and his and my relationship was vague. Not sure I will be able to breathe once my mother goes. I think I am preparing myself so I can endure it for my husband and grown children. I will have to go on but I really feel I will not be able to cope. I mean I will cease to exist just about. I cannot imagine living without her. But until then I cherish her every day. And I will continue. Thanks for listening.

]]> By: Matteo http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/comment-page-1/#comment-1611 Matteo Wed, 08 Aug 2007 13:10:19 +0000 http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/#comment-1611 Dear all less than a month ago, my mum, who just turned 70, has been diagnosed a small cell lung cancer, already metastased in the liver and brain. No therapy possible. Just one month before she was in a long car journey through Portugal with my father, admiring flowers and castles. No symptoms, nothing. We kept her from knowing that she was going to die, and instead flooded her with love. She might have had the happiest time of her life. Now it is the time of morphine, oblivion and pain, and this devastating sense of the imminent loss. Nothing else. With love Matteo Dear all
less than a month ago, my mum, who just turned 70, has been diagnosed a small cell lung cancer, already metastased in the liver and brain. No therapy possible. Just one month before she was in a long car journey through Portugal with my father, admiring flowers and castles. No symptoms, nothing.

We kept her from knowing that she was going to die, and instead flooded her with love. She might have had the happiest time of her life.
Now it is the time of morphine, oblivion and pain, and this devastating sense of the imminent loss. Nothing else.

With love
Matteo

]]> By: Patty http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/comment-page-1/#comment-1409 Patty Sat, 09 Jun 2007 09:50:57 +0000 http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/#comment-1409 I am going through something similar ..my mother was diagnosed with uterine cancer a little over a month ago, and though she is fighting, we all know, as you said ..it won't be long now. I am having a terrible time coping, she lights up everything ..I keep on thinking ...how will I know the way through the darkness? Your words have touched me deeply, and I wanted to thank you for them. Also, please know, you are not alone. Email me anytime. ~~Patty I am going through something similar ..my mother was diagnosed with uterine cancer a little over a month ago, and though she is fighting, we all know, as you said ..it won’t be long now. I am having a terrible time coping, she lights up everything ..I keep on thinking …how will I know the way through the darkness? Your words have touched me deeply, and I wanted to thank you for them. Also, please know, you are not alone. Email me anytime.

~~Patty

]]> By: h http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/comment-page-1/#comment-893 h Fri, 22 Sep 2006 23:21:35 +0000 http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/#comment-893 *holding you in my thoughts, love* holding you in my thoughts, love

]]> By: K. http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/comment-page-1/#comment-722 K. Sun, 17 Sep 2006 12:05:43 +0000 http://verywide.net/blog/2006/09/16/my-mother-is-dying/#comment-722 As always... I am so sorry, for both you and your mom. No one deserves such suffering. I was thinking about her birthday, too, and I'm glad you got to talk to her. And I'm very glad to read this, since we never really got to talk about your feelings about this last visit. I think it's a really good thing that you've come to a place of peace in your relationship with your mom, and that you're able to see the good things about her and what she did for you, despite all the other stuff we've talked about so many times. I wish both you and your mom peace in mind and body. And you know I love you. As always… I am so sorry, for both you and your mom. No one deserves such suffering. I was thinking about her birthday, too, and I’m glad you got to talk to her. And I’m very glad to read this, since we never really got to talk about your feelings about this last visit. I think it’s a really good thing that you’ve come to a place of peace in your relationship with your mom, and that you’re able to see the good things about her and what she did for you, despite all the other stuff we’ve talked about so many times.

I wish both you and your mom peace in mind and body. And you know I love you.

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